The Third Kind

I won’t consider myself as flagrantly gay. Yes I am loud. Yes I am obnoxious. And yes I love gossiping (but then who doesn’t?). But I always do so when I am in the company of friends. And I never imagine myself wearing make-up or gowns, though I have nothing against people who does it. Being democratic retinues, we are entitled to follow whatever our hearts dictate us (of course, as long as it’s not immoral or criminal). I always am taken aback when people that I meet for the first time ask me if I’m gay. I always say “Yes I am but it is not the most interesting fact about me”. I remember once when I met a friend for the first time. His first question was “Are you gay”? I was shocked, I retorted while chuckling “Why? Are you?” After the cursory laughs he explained that his best friend is gay, so on and so forth. He became one of my close buddies until now. On the other hand, I have had friends who confessed to me that they were really very afraid of me when we first met. I laughed at first because I thought they were literally afraid of me. Imagine my surprise when I learned that they were actually afraid that I will molest them or something to that extent because I am gay. I laughed so bad my snot almost shot out of my nose. I told my ignoramus friends that it does not mean that if someone is gay, all male species will cause them some kind of arousal. In fact I told them it’s just like being straight, it doesn’t mean that a guy will be sexually aroused at ALL girls (unless they’re sex maniacs or something)! And typical of straight dudes, they all nodded in unison like my dog bubblehead on my car dashboard that I used to have. These friends are what I call sexually secure, because no matter what, even if we slept beside each other, no fire will ever burn.

Homophobes are a different spectra altogether. I truly believe that homophobes are what they are because 1, they were molested/raped/dumped by a homo or 2, they are closet fags or 3, both. I was never a victim of homophobia, thankfully, but I’ve read and saw a lot of homophobia victims. Hate, that’s the main culprit not fear. Can you imagine if people will start to remove hate from their system and learn to love people not because they are male, female, or gay? This world will be so livable; our search for aliens will be over since they themselves would want to live here.

As a fact, my being gay does not define me as to who I really am. I am defined by the relationships that I build, and the successes (and failures) that honed me as me.